People who are divorced or widowed often enter matrimonial search carrying an extra burden: they are expected to explain themselves before anyone has even tried to know them.
A previous marriage is relevant information, but it should not become the whole identity of a person. The useful questions are about the present: What was learned? What responsibilities exist now? Are there children? What kind of future does the person want? Is everyone being honest about circumstances?
Looking beyond convention
Families should perform appropriate due diligence, just as they should in any serious proposal. But curiosity, gossip and moral judgment are not due diligence.
A mature matrimonial culture makes room for people whose lives did not follow a perfect first plan. A respectful second chance is not charity. It is simply recognizing that people can go through loss, change, learn and still build a good marriage.
