Families sometimes reject or accept proposals while imagining the reactions of relatives, friends and social circles. What will people say about the profession? The age difference? The city? The simplicity of the wedding? The fact that this is a second marriage?
Social reputation has practical value, especially when families rely on networks for trust. But there is a difference between checking reputation and living by public approval.
Looking beyond convention
The people giving opinions will not live inside the marriage. They will not manage the couple’s finances, raise their children, care for parents or solve disagreements at midnight.
Before making a major decision, families can ask a useful question: If nobody outside the immediate family ever found out, would we still make the same choice? The answer can reveal how much of the decision is about compatibility and how much is about appearances.
